Who are you? Who are your Friends?

Who are YOU? Who are you currently? I pose this question, because I have asked myself as well. Who am I?  Not your ideal self and not the self you want to become in 5 years. Who are you right now? How do we even gauge who we are in this present moment?  One interesting method of realization to who we are, at the moment, is to list the 5 closest people in our lives. Averaging out these individuals personal strengths and weaknesses, comparing and contrasting to our own personal is quite simple. What is left should describe who we are. This theory is usually credited to Jim Rohn. Jim started “You are the average of the 5 people closest to you”. This theory shows the importance of surrounding yourself with the right people. The people you have in your life can make you or break you, that is why it is extremely important associate yourself with people who have similar goals and ambitions.

It is no secret that the people surrounding us will influence us in some way. When we spend extended time with people we will learn new things consciously, but we will also absorb things subconsciously. An example of this is spending time with negative people. Our outlook on life will begin to become more negative. While we may feel we have a strong enough will to keep our positive outlook on life, we may be influenced by their negativity. When allowing pessimism into our lives, we are opening the door of allowance for negative thoughts. These negative thoughts will manifest into negative emotion, which will undeniably breed negative outcomes.

Having the wrong group of people in our lives can affect us negatively. If our close friends lack ambition and are lazy, you may be less motivated to chase your own goals. Per example: If your best friend is scared to take risks, they will inadvertently encourage you to not take risks as well. While they may think they are doing you a favor by telling you not to take a calculated risk, they are actually hindering your growth. Growth and success take a certain amount of risk. Unfortunately for your “friend,” their current paradigm will not allow them to see that.

While having the wrong group of people in our inner circle can hold us back or hurt us, there is always a segway toward solution. Surrounding ourselves with the right people opens the door for new opportunities and growth. When we surround ourselves with people who encourage us, motivate us and who can help us become better people, we are in the right track.  Our close friends should influence us in positive ways. We should also influence our friends in an positive fashion. If you truly know a person is not the influence you currently need, step back. If you have the ability to be helpful to one less fortunate, step forward. If you only have the mental capacity to take care of yourself, take a deep breath and care for yourself.

While we can construe the message in different ways, this blog is not telling you to only associate with people who think like you. We should associate ourselves with people from all walks of life. No person is better than another, but they may be in different stages of life. Many times when people become successful they may lose friends they were once close with. One reason for this is because they are in different stages in their life. You cannot force someone else to have a paradigm shift, or a change in thinking/perspective. When you change your way of thinking, they may not be ready for the change. This can lead to the structure of your inner circle changing. And while you may maintain a relationship with those people you may find yourself filling your inner circle with people who are at a similar stage in their life.

Surrounding yourself with the right people is very important. When you let the wrong people in it can hurt you and it can hold you back. Having the right people close to you however, can definitely help you. It will allow you to grow into a better person, it can influence your self control. This can truly only influence you in many positive ways.